A woman who acted as a surrogate parent for her two close gay friends has spoken about her experience carrying a child that was not hers.
Bree Miller welcomed baby girl, Haesel, in September for NSW fathers Paddy and Anthony – an opportunity the mother was eager to take as she was ‘excited to give birth again’.
After having three daughters herself, the 33-year-old decided she wanted to help others who couldn’t carry a child – and admits it wasn’t as hard to ‘let go’ of the baby as she thought.
‘It differed emotionally because I didn’t feel the motherly bond with her that I did with my own,’ Bree explained to Daily Mail Australia
‘I wouldn’t form more of an attachment or feel like I needed to keep that baby just because I had fed it. It was still not my baby.’
Bree, a student nurse from Seymour, Victoria, fell pregnant with Haesel after three failed IVF attempts from a donor egg and sperm from one of the men.
Bree Miller (pictured) gave birth to Haesel via surrogacy in September of this year
Bree, a student nurse from Seymour, Victoria, fell pregnant with Haesel after three failed IVF attempts from a donor egg and sperm from one of the men (Pictured is Anthony, Patrick, Haesel and Bree)
After having three daughters herself, Bree decided she wanted to help others who couldn’t carry a child – and admits it wasn’t as hard to ‘let go’ of the baby as she thought
The difficult process resulted in one tragic miscarriage 13-weeks in and two unsuccessful embryonic transfers.
‘Getting pregnant was quite different. I had conceived my three daughters naturally so the whole IVF process was a huge learning curve for me,’ she said.
‘But in the end birth is birth and she came out the same way my three did, there were just more people there watching this time.’
The mother-of-three says she felt overjoyed to be able to pass Haesel over to her adoring fathers for the last time, after breastfeeding for several days.
She describes the pregnancy and birth as somewhat different to her previous three children because of the lack of an ’emotional connection’, but says she felt so proud to help make two people’s dreams come true.
‘Getting pregnant was quite different. I had conceived my three daughters naturally so the whole IVF process was a huge learning curve for me,’ Bree said (pictured minutes after birth)
‘I felt such joy for my friends. I was so happy that they had got what they wished for so long. I was happy to give back the baby I looked after,’ Bree said.
These parents have worked so hard and gone to great expense to create their family. This child is so wanted.’
‘I was glad to give her back to her parents, that my part in her life story was over and the next part had started.’
‘And I’m so proud that I was able to help make a family. Surrogacy is truly a group effort. So many people are involved in bringing this little person into the world. I’m happy I could be part of that,’ she added.
Following her role in helping create a baby for two gay men, Bree says she is fiercely passionate about marriage equality in Australia.
She explains too many conservatives confuse the two issues of gay marriage and adoption – not knowing same-sex partners are free to adopt and access surrogacy in most states.
‘I felt such joy for my friends. I was so happy that they had got what they wished for so long. I was happy to give back the baby I looked after,’ Bree said (Pictured is Paddy and Anthony with their daughter, Haesel)
‘Same-sex couples are already creating families and will continue to do so no matter the outcome of the postal survey,’ she said.
And directly addressing naysayers of same-sex parenting – Bree is unwavering in her belief that little Haesel is endlessly loved and is certain she will have a fulfilling life with her adoring two fathers.
‘These parents have worked so hard and gone to great expense to create their family,’ Bree adds.
‘This child is so wanted. Despite having two dads, Haesel has so many wonderful female role models around her.
It takes a village to raise a child and Anthony and Paddy have worked hard to supply Haesel with an extensive village,’ she said.
