Sometimes, people mishear things. They listen to a common word or phrase, but don’t listen quite closely enough, and go on thinking it’s ‘escape goat’ instead of ‘scapegoat’, or ‘pre-Madonna’ instead of ‘prima donna’.
If they’re lucky, they’ll figure it out before embarrassing themselves. And if they’re not so lucky, it ends up on the internet.
These people were not so lucky.
Here, FEMAIL rounds up some of the funniest and most mind-boggling mistaken words and phrases on the internet, all shared by people who didn’t just spell something wrong but seemed to genuinely think the word or phrase in questions was something entirely different.
Several problems here: This Twitter user not only misheard the French phrase ‘bon appetit’ – she also clearly has absolutely no idea what cornbread is
Work’s hard: Karrigan’s threat of committing ‘sue of side’ seemed pretty empty considering she didn’t even know the word ‘suicide’
What a nightmare: This man has such bad ‘in some near’ that he never sleeps – but it’s apparently not bad enough for him to look up the word ‘insomnia’
Sounds like a hip-hop artist: While this man admitted that he can’t spell, that doesn’t really address the fact that he totally misheard the letter sounds in the word ‘seizure’
So fancy: This woman’s tweet went viral earlier this year when her boyfriend told her she looked like an ‘erb derb’ when he meant ‘hors d’oeuvre’
No hablo español… or English, for that matter: This Twitter user clearly doesn’t feel obligated to own a dictionary
Jumping to conclusions: This man’s tweet was completely unintelligible until he helpfully explained that when you ‘a soon’ something, you think you know it without having all the facts
So… is that cold?
This man’s forecast makes no sense in Fahrenheit or Celcius
Only half paying attention: This girl is in for some awkward conversations if she ever makes a Jewish friend
Firstable, this comment is pretty funny. Seconadble, someone should probably explain things to her. And thirdable, we want to know how high this system of counting goes, but we like it
If only Lex Luthor knew… Superman can’t take out the bad guys if he’s confronted with ‘crip tonight’ from his home planet of… Crip Ton?
He’s not the only one… Jr should probably explain to this friend what Puerto Rico is
Non! We’ll give this guy a break for not knowing French – but if you’re not sure how to use a word like ‘mademoiselle’, it’s probably best to remove it from your vocabulary
Cheers! It’s unclear if this person is telling his friend to give thanks or enjoy some wine
Never had a Sega growing up? Might explain why this person didn’t know that Sonic is a hedgehog, not a ‘head chog’
Placing a dinner order? This person is incredibly ‘none shallot’ – uh, nonchalant – about his or her ignorance regarding the English language
Bling bling: While this is probably just a spelling mistake (made twice), it’s funny to picture this person pronouncing necklace as ‘neckles’
Ovah-the-shoulda boulda holda: You can practically hear the accent of the person selling this ‘braw’ online
Extra: Whether it was Maggie or someone who took her order who wrote ‘wakamoly’, we don’t think she was worried about the carnival came Whack-a-mole ending up in her Mexican food
Sugar coating is wasted on the young: This person might be surprised to learn that a ‘euphemism’ has nothing to do with kids
Go simple: This woman would have avoided embarrassment if she’d simply said ‘gay’ (or simply not posted this odd message at all)
Quoi? A lot of misspellings for ‘croissant’ would be understandable for a non-French speaker – but ‘quacksonks’? That’s a new one
They speak it in Porch of Gull, too! This woman quacking at Brazilian men makes a whole lot more sense once you realize she thinks they’re speaking a language called Porch of Geese
Where to start? Besides thinking the phrase ‘at all’ is spelled the same as a ring-shaped coral reef, this person also needs the concept of ‘delusions of grandeur’ explained
Not to be a party pooper… To be fair, defecation might help a person lose a little weight, if only temporarily
Yum: To be clear – a bagel is a type of circular bread. And if you have the option to eat one, the answer is always yes
Who needs it: This person owns a wheelbarrow but doesn’t know how to say it or spell it